This past summer an American couple found themselves in a tiny Catholic church in a tiny Franconian village in Germany for a family wedding.
Family members were asked to gather promptly at 11:00 a.m. the morning of the wedding at the home of the bride in the village of Hausen. Family portraits were taken with both the bride and groom. The groom wore a traditional black tuxedo with white tie. The bride wore a snow-white gown complete with hoop skirt and crinolines. She completed her ensemble with a long veil and elbow length gloves. Following the portrait session, family members were shuttled to the church for the religious ceremony.
The ceremony was held in a lovely stone chapel, officiated by the same priest who married the bride’s parents. At their seats, guests were given programs with tissues tucked onto the front page to dab away happy tears. Though happy tears were certainly shed, most attendees used the tissues to mop brows as temperatures in the tiny chapel soared into the 90’s. The priest entered the church, followed by three bridesmaids dressed in gowns the shade of eggplants. The bride followed on the arm of her father. And thus began an hour and a half long Catholic mass and wedding ceremony.
The priest spoke words of wisdom to the couple, all very thoughtful but none grasped by the non-German speaking American guests. The congregation sang lovely hymns. The congregation sat, stood and kneeled per the instruction of the priest. Seven family members, including the two Americans, stood and recited verses from a prayer, wishing happiness to the couple. The ceremony was perfect, except for a light moment when the bride muttered, “Oops” while saying her vows.
Following communion, a chorus sang a medley of Motown songs from the balcony of the chapel. And then they were pronounced husband and wife. They exited the chapel, the groom beaming, the bride quietly sobbing. Two friends greeted the newly wedded couple with a large white bed sheet decorated with a large red heart. Following a Franconian tradition, the couple simultaneously cut out the heart from the sheet. Then the groom lifted his bride through the heart-shaped hole. Wedding guests and townspeople alike gathered outside the church to wish the couple well.
Following the lovely, albeit stifling ceremony, the bride and groom departed their wedding guests in a 1975 Triumph convertible. In the German fashion, the hood of the car was decorated in white flowers and trimmed in countless ribbons, bobbins and frills. As the convertible slowly inched its way out of the church parking lot, wedding guests piled into their respective modes of transport and followed the bride and groom in one long, snaking processional of automobiles. As the bride did not want her wedding hair to succumb to winds on the Autobahn, the bridal vehicle meandered its way along country roads to the reception destination, about an hour away from the wedding site. All the while, the wedding guests, distinguishable by the white ribbons tied to their car antennae, honked and hooted behind the bride and groom. Passing cars expressed their congratulations by also laying on their horns.
The happy wedding party arrived at the hotel Windfelder am See, in the hamlet of Stegaurach in Upper Franconia. Immediately, the bride, with not a hair out of place, and her groom were swept away by the wedding photographer for portraits. The guests were treated to a lavish spread of sweets and coffee, tucked beside a charming lake near the guesthouse. Nearly all the cakes were baked by kind relatives of the bride. Refreshments included Franconian delicacies like uhrrädle, sweetened fried dough, and knie küchle, little pillows of yeast cake. The bride and groom reemerged from their photo session to cut the wedding cake, which was promptly served to the guests, each layer of the five-tiered masterpiece containing a different flavor. The happy couple disappeared once more, while the guests mingled and sipped on prosecco and radlers, the latter a Bavarian concoction of beer and lemonade.
The wedding party and guests were eventually driven into the reception hall by an onslaught of rain. The room was decorated in shades of white and purple. The wedding band practiced its set list of Bon Jovi, John Denver and other soft rock classics while guests found their seats and admired the décor. The bride and groom were seated and dinner service was about begin, before it was interrupted by an elderly aunt of the bride. Dressed in a costume, the aunt pretended to be a jilted former lover of the groom and recited a poem to the couple, causing much laughter from the German guests and utter confusion from the Americans. Dinner was a five-course meal, spread out over several hours.
Following the second course, the bride and groom stood for their first dance. The guests held sparklers while the couple danced a Viennese waltz, the traditional first dance. The waltz evolved into several other dances, including Rocky Horror’s “Time Warp,” swing and the twist. Other couples joined the bride and groom, though none were as well choreographed. Dancing continued throughout the night, mainly to various American melodies.
Skits and slide-shows interrupted the dancing and dinner service several times. The groom’s parents shared a thoughtful presentation of photographs of their son and daughter-in-law. Friends of the bride performed a comical musical interpretation of the civil ceremony, which elicited again much laughter from the German guests and more confusion from the Americans. Later into the night, the sister of the bride encouraged people to participate in a dancing game. Guests drew names of famous historical or literary pairings and if their character was called aloud, they entertained the room with a dance. The same sister orchestrated another dancing game, passing out pieces of a puzzle to female guests. The groom then danced with each guest in an attempt to gain all the puzzle pieces to reveal a photograph of his bride.
The revelry continued long into the night. At midnight, guests were treated to a buffet to refuel for more dancing, more fun. The last tradition of the evening was the veil dance. The bride took a seat while her husband stood behind her – blindfolded – and tried to remove all the pins from her hair and undo the veil. With veil in hand, he then danced in a circle with all of the single female guests, all while still being blindfolded. He then handed the veil to one girl. This lucky woman was then blindfolded herself and handed the veil to a single man. The two then partook in a Viennese waltz.
The Americans kindly bowed out of the festivities at 1:00 a.m., while the bride and groom kept going until 3:30 a.m. They were, in fact, the last of the group to leave.
It was a lovely, exhausting, linguistically confusing wedding, quite unlike anything this writer has ever been to before. But, it would not have been missed for the world.
An aside: There are some Franconian and German traditions the couple chose not to include in their wedding festivities. One is the kidnapping of the bride, where friends capture the bride and hide her in a secluded location. The groom must find his kidnapped spouse and beg for her back. Another tradition is the smashing of dishes the night before the wedding.
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